i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
