Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
