I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
