i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
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I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
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I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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