Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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