I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
