Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
