Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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