4 words: hood of his car
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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