My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
