I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
