I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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