people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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