I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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