if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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