The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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