I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize