i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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