i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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