Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Randomize
