He is such a slut. More and more my type.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
