My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
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