Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
