i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
