Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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