the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
