Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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