Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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