He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
