did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.