btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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