physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.