oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best