i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
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