so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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