put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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