i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
