you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
