the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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