Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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