dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize