so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize