Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
