The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
