how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
