belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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