you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
