Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
