smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
