I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Randomize
