you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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