she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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