I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
