i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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