Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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