my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
