We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
