Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
