Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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