This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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