My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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