these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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