Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
