So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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