3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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