It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
