I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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