Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize