i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home