I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.