And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
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And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
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My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes