I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
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No I am not eating basil off your cock
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
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I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again