Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
She bit a glass in half.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
