i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
