high people should be assigned attendants
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
