Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
How external is "for external use only"?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
