We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
