Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
