the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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