No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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