I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
